Despite being driven and a lifelong student, there are aspects I wish I had understood before embarking on my MBA journey. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, but perhaps my insights can help you if you're considering going back to school.
Before diving into what I wish I knew, I want to emphasize that I am incredibly proud of myself and grateful for my experience in this program. It's important to note that prior to Vanderbilt, I had not taken any formal business courses, not even as an undergraduate. I earned my bachelor's degree with a double major in journalism and studio art, and I already held a master's degree in mass communication. All my business knowledge had been acquired through my 15-year digital marketing and eCommerce career.
Upon graduating, I have gained clarity about my aspirations and a newfound confidence in my abilities. With that in mind, I will now discuss what I wish I had understood and the impact it would have had on my life before starting my MBA:
Partner Support is Critical
If you are married or in a relationship, it is crucial for your partner to be supportive and understanding of the demands that an MBA or any graduate program entails. This means that your partner will likely need to take on a disproportionate amount of household and childcare responsibilities.
With my two active boys, my husband, William, became the Jedi of Saturday sports. He would either coach, provide sideline support, or shuttle them all over Nashville on Saturdays while I sat in a classroom for 12 hours.
William also had a better grasp of our boys' after-school schedule than I did. With the demands of work and school, along with keeping track of numerous school holidays, my brain was at full capacity. He helped organize our family calendar and, in general, kept me on track (which he still does). He took the lead in our boys' activities while juggling his own full-time job and pursuing two passion side hustles.
Moreover, he assisted with laundry and dishes, and every woman needs a partner who helps with household chores!
Due to taking on more than his fair share of parenting responsibilities in the past 24 months, there were moments when he felt frustrated with me. However, he understood that school was a temporary phase, and the imbalance of responsibilities would not last forever.
That being said, it was still challenging and occasionally led to tension. My most significant piece of advice before embarking on a demanding endeavor like graduate school, especially while being married and having children, is to ensure that your marriage is strong. William is not only my husband but also my best friend, and I know he supports me even during times of conflict. If your relationship is already experiencing difficulties before starting graduate school, I can only imagine that those problems will escalate. Of course, I am neither a relationship expert nor do I claim to be one. My point is that having your partner's unwavering support is essential before embarking on your graduate school journey.
Motherhood
Mom guilt is a real struggle! It exists even without being in graduate school, but for me, it was amplified during my EMBA program. These phrases were all too common in my household:
"Mommy, it makes me sad you can't watch me play in my basketball game today."
"Mommy, why are you still working? It's so late."
"Mommy, you're always working. I want you to play with me."
Whenever my kids searched for me in the house, they would check my office first. In countless evening Zoom calls, my classmates witnessed my youngest falling asleep in my lap, hugging my neck because it was his bedtime, and he wanted me to put him to bed.
When I decided to pursue my MBA, both of my kids were in preschool, and their extracurricular and school activities were minimal. I officially started at Vanderbilt in the fall of 2021, which coincided with my oldest starting kindergarten. Initially, I could manage my time well. Most of my work colleagues are based in San Francisco, which meant I could drop my boys off at school and have 2 to 3 hours before those on the West Coast started their day. I utilized those mornings to do homework and read for class.
During the first semester, I followed this schedule and accomplished most of my schoolwork before my workday began. However, the second semester brought new challenges. It was heavy in finance, and let's just say corporate finance and corporate valuation are neither my strengths nor passions. Since these subjects felt like deciphering hieroglyphics to me, I had to put in extra effort. Not only was I doing schoolwork before my workday, but I also had to continue it after. Most nights, I would wait until I tucked my boys in for the night before returning to my schoolwork. To put it simply, school became incredibly demanding and taxing.
With the responsibilities of school and career, I felt like I was struggling to be a good mom. I grew resentful of the program because it felt like I was missing out on everything in my kids' lives. (I admit this may be a bit of an exaggeration, but my mama heart truly felt like I was missing it all.) I remember excusing myself from the classroom because my husband sent a video of my youngest playing in his first tee-ball game.
At that moment, I thought, "What have I done? I'm missing all these precious moments that I can never get back!"
It was during that challenging spring semester, heavy in finance, that I decided I would not let my GPA define my EMBA success. This was incredibly difficult for the studious perfectionist in me to accept, but looking back, it was necessary. It taught me the importance of letting go and seeking balance amidst the chaos. I would always strive to do my best, but I made a conscious decision not to prioritize the demands of school over motherhood.
While I have had to sacrifice weekends and some school nights away from my boys, I hope I am teaching them that learning is a lifelong journey and work ethic matters. I want them to understand that it is never too late to invest in themselves.
Power of Friendships
Carve out time to spend with your friends amid all the craziness. This can be a 30-minute walk, a coffee meetup, lunch, or even a quick text, call, or FaceTime. Try to stay connected to your friends to help ground you. I found it very hard to give attention to friendships that weren't in my everyday life. My goal this year is to prioritize my relationships because those friendships are important and energizing!
If you haven't already, befriend the parents of your children's friends. Let them help you with your kids, especially with school and activity pickups. There have been countless times when my parent friends have assisted me by taking my child to a classmate's birthday party or soccer practice. This advice applies to all parents, not just for moms going back to school.
As a simple example of support, other moms of boys in my oldest son's class have a group text, and they help me regularly. They provide updates on the dress code due to a field trip or a special spirit day, among other things. They have been lifesavers! My son would have been upset if he missed a chance to wear a shirt of his choice. As I mentioned before, my brain was full, and it was hard for me to keep everything straight.
In addition to recruiting the support of other parents, I recommend making friends in your program, especially those who can relate to your experience. I am incredibly thankful for the 15 women in my class at Vanderbilt. Many of them are wives and mothers and have already achieved so much in their careers. Our program consists of savvy women who are medical doctors, CEOs, fundraisers, engineers, accountants, and more. We use each other as sounding boards and support systems.
To brag about a few, one of my classmates is a mother of two beautiful girls (ages 5 and 3) with a demanding job in healthcare and a supportive husband with an equally demanding job. She ran the New York Marathon during the most grueling semester of our program. She was also the only female in the Executive MBA program graduating with top honors.
Another friend went through major life changes during our program. She got married at the beginning of our MBA journey, and in our last semester, she started a new job and had a precious baby boy just before graduation.
I owe a big thank you to my first-year teammate as she helped me get through those initial semesters. During that time, she not only navigated acquisitions and led her healthcare company as its CEO but also helped her college-aged children get settled into their respective schools and even tutored them in some of their subjects.
The juggling act that my female classmates exhibited during our program was nothing short of impressive. They continue to be forces! I am very lucky to have met and been surrounded by such intelligent, caring, and accomplished women. They have been a valuable addition to my life, and I know we'll continue to cheer each other on in the future.
The point here is to prioritize your friends and lean on them for support.
Enlist the Village
Do not be afraid to ask for help! I repeat, do not be afraid to ask for help!
You have probably heard the quote, "It takes a village to raise a child," from the African proverb, and if you have children, you know that quote holds true. When starting graduate school with children, you not only need moral support but also dedicated childcare.
In addition to having your partner help with the children and enlisting the support of your friends, grandparents, family members, and babysitters are crucial in helping you navigate your graduate program. My mother-in-law lives in Nashville, and she has been an immense help with my boys over the past two years while I've been in school. When my husband had to work nights, many times his mother would come over to assist me in getting the boys bathed and put to bed, allowing me to join a school zoom call or do homework. There have been numerous weekend slumber parties at Nana's house while I was in class, studying, or writing papers.
Not only did I receive extra help from my mother-in-law, but my parents would also travel from Mississippi to Nashville regularly to support me with the boys while I was in class. When my husband had to travel for work, my parents would come to my rescue, helping me manage the boys' schedule as well as my own.
If you cannot rely on assistance from your parents or in-laws, find a reliable babysitter, whether it's a teenager from your neighborhood, a college student, or a regular nanny. You will need extra help with your children so that you can complete your assignments, meet with your classmates, and prepare for upcoming classes. My advice is to increase your monthly childcare budget and factor in those expenses when determining the total cost of graduate school.
Career
Career advancement is typically the most obvious reason why someone would want to pursue an MBA. While this rationale holds true for me as well, I was also seeking foundational business knowledge, especially in finance and accounting. As mentioned, my undergraduate degree was in journalism and studio art, and I have a Master of Science in mass communication. I have been in digital marketing and eCommerce for 15 years, but I never took a formal business class. I was beginning to lead business transformation projects, manage P&Ls and budgets, and while I felt confident in my digital technology expertise, I felt I needed more education in basic business principles.
Vanderbilt's EMBA program provided a comprehensive education in various aspects of business, including strategy, finance, marketing, operations, and leadership. I now feel more equipped to make better business decisions and solve complex problems. While I do not have a desire to go into finance, I can say that my financial acumen has increased exponentially, and I feel much more confident managing a P&L and budget. Plus, I am able to follow along my company's earnings calls much better than I did before.
I currently work for a large apparel company, working in cross-brand media operations. My role is very cross-functional, and business school has given me a new arsenal of tools that I can leverage in my day-to-day. I feel better equipped to negotiate for myself and my team, and I am more confident in providing input on strategic decisions and initiatives.
Overall, the impact of an MBA on my career is still in progress, but after completing the program, I know the direction I want to take my profession. I am ready to leverage the knowledge, skills, and network acquired during my studies. I plan to actively apply what I've learned and continue to seek growth and development opportunities.
Self-Reflection
Earning an MBA through Vanderbilt's EMBA program provided me with more than just overall business knowledge, it allowed me the opportunity to reflect on my true interests and preferences. Often, in our daily roles, we focus on tasks and projects without considering whether they truly energize us. Business school provided the space for this introspection. I was able to step back and identify the business subjects that genuinely gave m energy, as well as those that drained it. Finance and accounting, for instance, felt like intense workouts—necessary and beneficial, but not something I desired to completely focus on. However, I discovered my areas of passion, such as strategy and global business topics. These classes ignited my curiosity and motivated me to excel in coursework. Consequently, I aspire to lead digital business strategy, incorporating global markets, in my future role.
Additionally, the MBA program helped me prioritize what truly matters in my life. Family emerged as my top priority, and I recognized that a job or educational pursuit demanding excessive time away from them would not serve my overall well-being. I have complete confidence that my investment in the program will yield a positive return on investment. While I take immense pride in the effort I devoted to completing the program, I am also relieved that this challenging chapter has come to a close.
1 comment
Heather!
Congratulations in your graduation and thank you sharing the insights, I will share it with other EMBA students that will benefit!
José